We’re all searching for happiness,
In objects, people, experiences, our faith.
Happiness doesn’t last as feelings are temporary.
We’re chasing fleeting emotions.
I sit here with my books open,
Listening to the wind howling outside,
And I wonder to myself,
What do I do? What do I chase?
I’m in the middle of an existential crisis again,
One thing solves itself and another appears,
Just when you think life is on track and you’re happy,
Things change and it’s all out of your control.
I’m trying to see the positive side to it,
The betrayal, the injustice, the loneliness.
That maybe God is preparing me for a better afterlife, or I hope He is.
Jannah has been promised for the believers.
Eventhough it is hard to be a believer,
It is hard to pray at times,
It is hard to do the right thing when everyone else wants to do the wrong thing,
And sometimes you just don’t know what is true anymore,
You feel lost and empty,
Like you’re a slave to the dunya,
Just chasing the world like everyone else,
Part of the rat race.
I want to be loved,
Why do I feel unloved?
Is it the movies, the tv, the world?
When actually they are probably quite painful and challenging to handle right?
Two people with different thoughts, lifestyles, aims, coming together,
Trying to synchronise their lives, expectations, etc.
Oh world, you let me down.
Why do I keep chasing you?
I know why I do as I am surrounded by you.
I see you every day.
The truth isn’t always clear,
It’s surrounded by falsehood too,
By grey, murky waters.
The path to jannah will be hard.
We need to keep strong,
And keep paddling along.
Sometimes the sea will be calm,
Sometimes a few ripples,
Other times there will be waves,
The waves will come towards you,
And it will feel like you will tip over,
But Allah will save you,
He has your back.
I know our faith might be weak at times,
But sometimes He is the only reason I continue being,
He is sustaining me, though I don’t always acknowledge it,
Or thank Him.