Being at home sometimes makes me lazy and I wonder what I’m supposed to do. I become bored. I was advised by someone that I should make a plan of what I should do each day – in that way, I won’t be left with idle time, wondering what to do. However, sometimes in life, unexpected things happen or your family want you to do other things so you get pulled away from your own plans. It would probably make me unhappy if i was unable to do what I had planned.
So I want to plan enough to have some sort of guide, but not overplan so there is no flexibility. Sometimes plans stress me out as well, whereas I like looking at empty spaces in my diary. Not really sure what to do.
I wrote about happiness a few days ago and how the search for it is futile. People (especially in the West) expect themselves to be happy all the time, so are probably disappointed when they are not. It is not humanly possible to feel happy and joyful all the time. Sometimes our mood will just be neutral and that is ok. It is the times when we expect our emotions to be different to what they are, which leads to problems (as a recent study suggests).
So I am here today in bed, wondering what my future will be like. It can be sad when your parents want one future for you but you want a different future for yourself. It is a case of differences in values and expectations. You can’t really live your life according to what another person thinks is best for you. But you want to keep your loved ones happy too. But to what extent? That is something to reflect on. You are your parents’ children but they can’t control you. They have no right to. You have your own thoughts, dreams, ideas and ambitions. They can’t force their ideas upon you or make you behave in the way they want you to.
We are our own human beings. We will stand before Allah alone. To what degree do we factor in our parents within our lives? I want them to be happy but I’m not prepared to compromise on what I am passionate about. It’s a hard and sad life which is why I need to develop my faith so I can withstand the trials of life with sabr, and so that I am rewarded with jannah. I have a lot of learning to do, and so here I begin with my path to become a better Muslim who is more educated and is more active in giving da’wah inshaAllah. How will I do this – I must put myself out there and engage with as many people as I can. May Allah make this path easy for us all.