God knows how much I have cried and have felt deep emotional pain these last few days.
I have no idea what triggered it, probably just the shaytan and his crafty ways,
Standing in the sidelines and observing that I’m starting to get a better grip on my life, Alhamdulillah, and so he wants to mess it up.
I kept on crying and crying to my Lord that He helps me recover, that He allows me to forget what I am struggling to put behind me,
That brings me so much mental anguish over and over again. That dies down every now and again but somehow bubbles back upto the surface every now and again too.
I think I got somewhere today as Allah sent me a nicer memory to my thoughts,
One of me walking alongside those people that abandoned me, smiling and feeling calm, serene and excited at the future, soaking in the beautiful atmosphere around me,
And then I thought to myself, maybe they were protecting me. And that’s what I needed to let the pain pour away.
Shaytan really makes you see a skewed and messed up picture of reality. He takes the minutiae and magnifies it to you,
But when Allah helped me see a different perspective, I realised that not everything was so bad, there was good, in fact, plenty of good prior to the event that upset me,
So why allow my memories to be tainted by one small event which I am uncertain about. Like they say, no news is good news.
It is the shaytan who wants the Muslims to be at war with each other, so we are weak, and so that the allies of shaytan are stronger in the world,
But we must overcome that, we well and truly must 🙂