A Reflection of My Nature and Character

I am happy to receive messages of support,

From people who wish me the best,

Who support me and care for me,

It makes me feel happy,

Like I have this bubble wrap around me,

And it feels nice.

I’m reflecting on my actions,

My personality and my behaviour,

And there have been many times in the past where I reacted emotionally to things,

I became angry when the people around me made mistakes or did something sinful,

And that wasn’t correct. That wasn’t the prophetic way of dealing with sinful behaviour, to judge or react.

He had mercy, and it was perfectly acceptable for people to go to the Prophet (pbuh) to declare their sins,

And ask about their status in front of Allah,

Sometimes the Prophet would state a dunya punishment, something that would perhaps erase their sin,

And that was ok. It’s hard to live a life where you are surrounded by all the things Allah has forbidden,

When your friends and the people you are close to around you do the things you want to do, but feel you can’t,

There’s this jealousy inside you, and there’s this resentment towards your own faith,

And there’s this need and want to control the environment around you,

Just so you can feel more at ease,

And so perhaps that’s where those emotional reactions come from,

A place of instability, a place of discomfort at the thought of everyone else around me being perceived as different to me.

But it wasn’t my job or role to control the environment as it belongs to Allah.

I can promote Allah’s message,

But I should try not to be too emotionally attached to the response I receive,

It’s not a reflection of me.

It’s more a reaction towards the message,

I don’t need to react,

And I’d defo like to be more self-aware,

So that I am more conscious of the things I say and do,

So I can steer my life in a positive direction,

I can definitely control my own reactions and my own thoughts inshaAllah.

Everything will be ok,

As Allah has already decided my rizq,

So I need not worry about provisions inshaAllah.

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