I was having a relatively ok day I think,
I was feeling productive,
I went into a clinic and then a departmental meeting,
Was feeling more confident about my exam next week,
Had prayed my prayers for the day,
I was slightly tired after the travelling,
And so I thought I’d nap for a bit,
Then the whispers of the shaytan came,
And I just couldn’t resist 😦
…
I fell and gave in as I’ve done far too many times,
Then felt ashamed afterwards,
I repeated asthagfirullah many times,
It was too late,
It had been done 😦
It’s far too easy to fall,
And I must continuously ask my Lord to erase my sins,
To forgive me on that day when we will all be humbled,
So that He accepts me,
The approval of no-one else matters,
Only the approval and acceptance of my Lord,
The one who is the most merciful,
The one who I let down all the time.
I must pick myself back up though and move forward,
The shaytan makes me dwell on things I don’t have,
He makes me compare myself with others,
Look at others and feel low about not measuring up,
When the truth is, Allah has blessed me with so much,
And I want to start sharing those blessings with the world inshaAllah,
There is more to life than what I see around me,
And I need to start building up a bank of good deeds for my akhirah.
The blessed month is coming up,
And I hope I live to reach it,
As I am in need of it inshaAllah.
At-tadabbur 