Falling and Lifting Myself Up Again

I was having a relatively ok day I think,

I was feeling productive,

I went into a clinic and then a departmental meeting,

Was feeling more confident about my exam next week,

Had prayed my prayers for the day,

I was slightly tired after the travelling,

And so I thought I’d nap for a bit,

Then the whispers of the shaytan came,

And I just couldn’t resist 😦

I fell and gave in as I’ve done far too many times,

Then felt ashamed afterwards,

I repeated asthagfirullah many times,

It was too late,

It had been done 😦

It’s far too easy to fall,

And I must continuously ask my Lord to erase my sins,

To forgive me on that day when we will all be humbled,

So that He accepts me,

The approval of no-one else matters,

Only the approval and acceptance of my Lord,

The one who is the most merciful,

The one who I let down all the time.

I must pick myself back up though and move forward,

The shaytan makes me dwell on things I don’t have,

He makes me compare myself with others,

Look at others and feel low about not measuring up,

When the truth is, Allah has blessed me with so much,

And I want to start sharing those blessings with the world inshaAllah,

There is more to life than what I see around me,

And I need to start building up a bank of good deeds for my akhirah.

The blessed month is coming up,

And I hope I live to reach it,

As I am in need of it inshaAllah.


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