I feel lost in this world,
But I feel honoured that God saved me,
Opened my eyes up to the reality of this world,
How futile all this is,
But I still need to pretend that I’m just like everyone else,
Concerned about the same things, aiming for the same things,
But really, I think, what is the point of trying so hard?
There was a moment today,
Where I thought that I needed to do what everyone else did.
I felt different…detached,
Like I wasn’t part of them,
Just an outside observer who looked inwards,
Making a comment every now and again,
Receiving a reaction every now and again.
All of this is why I prefer to stay indoors these days,
– keep away from people,
– and preserve my deen.
I do feel lonely, like a stranger in a sea of familiarity,
And so I do wish that Allah rescues me from these stormy waters,
Reunites me with my soul-mates,
And grants me solace and peace,
For this world has failed me.
I tried so hard to please it,
Do everything it wanted from me,
But it was never enough.
I sacrificed quality time with my own Lord,
The reason I am here, to please Him inshaAllah,
And I chose to devote much of my time to pursuing my studies for the dunya,
But now I want to move on,
And rekindle my relationship with my Lord,
He is the greatest of them all.