I love you so much,
Eventhough we have never met.
My heart longs to know you, be close to you, forge an alliance with you,
So we can be stronger together, inshaAllah.
My heart feels happy and at peace at the thought of you,
I feel hopeful of our re-union,
To rekindle the love of that day when Allah created our souls,
And then dispersed those souls amongst the world,
So that they can come together again in the future.
I long to take those steps towards you,
But I have to remind myself,
That there is no need to be hasty,
As there is still time to make lots of d’ua.
Allah will bring things to me at the right time.
I do have plans within my mind, inshaAllah,
But I will not take steps with my limbs right now,
For there is still a whole lot of d’ua to be made,
A whole lot of knowledge to be sought,
To correct the ignorance that breeds within my mind.
I know I don’t feel good enough or pious enough to be with you,
And I sometimes fear that I’m imagining and hyping up a situation that might not even exist,
And that makes me sad – the idea that there might not be anyone else,
No-one else who matches up to what I’d require.
And so I ask myself,
How do I live my life?
Do I carry on being this victim,
Feeling horrible for my injust circumstances,
Or do I take control of my life,
And stuff what the rest of the world wants and expects from me?
A whole lot of d’ua, guidance and coming close to my Lord is required 😦