You took things away from me,
Things I held dear and close to my heart.
I fell into a deep state of grief,
The sadness enveloped my life.
But within the sadness there was deep reflection,
I started to examine all the aspects of my life,
My own character, behaviour, actions,
And also those of the ones who are closest to me,
The ones who were my nearest and dearest.
I decided to be truly honest with myself,
And ask myself if I’m happy,
And the truth is I am not,
And with this realisation comes the next step,
Do I continue doing what I’ve been doing all along,
Or do I change my course of action?
And I’ve decided to pursue the latter.
It’s scary to do this,
But I need to live a life in accordance with my deepest values.
I can’t live a life being worried about what people will think or say,
Trying to make the world around me happy,
Doing what everyone else expects of me,
When I’m just deeply unhappy,
And so things need to change,
And I need to make those changes,
And live a different life.
Things won’t happen overnight,
But I’m determined to change, inshaAllah,
And i need to make lots of d’ua,
That Allah grants me goodness,
And helps me attain the things I desire and long for.
It’s always going to be a tough world,
And so I must become internally resilient,
And spiritually sound.
So that whatever comes my way,
Can be resisted with an inner strength,
A strong core that comes from Allah,
And is built upon the realisation that we will go back to Allah.