A weekend of bitter-sweet memories,
Mostly sweet, sometimes bitter.
A family full of difficult and complicated characters,
Such large egoes, such fragile egoes, such poor character, and such vicious words.
It brings me great pain to stand around these characters,
To endure their vicious attacks,
To listen to them talk about the dunya with such enthusiasm,
When its’ the akhirah they should pursue.
How they mock you so viciously,
When you say something so different to them,
When you act differently,
Or even when you speak the truth…
You then just realise how alone and how strange you feel,
Like an outcast looking in on the world.
But there was some relief when I reminded myself,
That any pain experienced in the face of standing for the truth,
Will be returned with much bliss from the Creator who is saving so much for us.
I feel sad for these people,
The ones who I grew up around,
How kind they can be at times,
But how mean they can be too.
How much I can love them at times,
But how much I can hate them too.
How wise and pious they can be at times,
But how misguided and arrogant they can be too.
And I wonder to myself,
Is it me who is being too harsh at times,
And judging them through this tough lens of mine?
Or am I starting to see the truth and the venom that lies beneath?
And I think it is and should be the latter?
One needs to be able to stand for the truth,
Even if it be against their own family members,
And the ones that they love.
How hard and painful this world can be.
I almost feel like it is everyday that,
I am bruised in some way.
How dare these people create so much madness and mischief,
But ah, it is life,
And this is how it was supposed to be,
And I guess it could be a whole lot worse,
So Alhamdulillah, for all these people,
For the joy they bring me,
The pain they bring me,
The lessons they teach me,
The knowledge they bestow upon me,
The character they build in me,
And the resilience they give to me.
One day I hope it will all be worth it,
When I can sit back on these beautiful reclining chairs I hope,
Picking the best berries from the branches that swing forwards for me,
In the company of the most pious and blessed,