A Poem on Difficult Feelings and Events

And so sadly, my life became all about exams,

Passing each hurdle,

Doing what I needed to do,

To jump over the hoop.

But the problem was,

That I put all of my energy and force,

Into that one thing,

I trained so hard,

Failing to realise,

That that hoop wasn’t even so important at all,

It was just one little hoop,

And me and the world around me had put so much emphasis upon it.

I’m so upset and drained,

That I try so hard to win the approval of the people around me,

I try so hard to treat them well and be kind to them,

But they treat me like a punching bag,

Taking their anger and frustration out on me,

I hate it,

I’m just a fragile soul,

With a fragile sense of self,

Why beat me up even more,

When I already beat myself up quite a lot,

About not being good enough,

About making mistakes,

About saying and doing the wrong thing.

So if there’s all this self doubt,

Well of course it makes sense,

That I stay silent,

Or that I don’t move forward,

Because there’s so much holding me back,

And that’s myself, my attitude and my lack of iman.

I have so many flaws,

And it hurts me each time someone highlights it.

Please do so in a kind manner,

As I don’t have the patience and the stamina,

To withstand this pressure,

I’m like a pressure cooker,

But the pressure is building up too much,

And so I want to let out the steam,

So I can feel at peace again,

So I can live in the most excellent of manners,

With patience and perseverence,

Though it would be incredibly hard to do this,

Unless one is a true believer,

And that is something that I long to be,

InshaAllah.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s