I’m completely baffled,
At who is my friend and who is not,
People will screw you over when the going gets tough,
And it feels like in the medical profession,
Everyone just seems to be competing against each other,
Well, the ones who care about their profession do,
But the believers are ones who believe that true rizq comes from Allah,
So it isn’t possible for other people to take away from you what wasn’t destined for you in the first place,
And that all believers will have all that was destined for them,
Nothing more, nothing less,
So why worry about and compromise on one’s morals and values,
For something that has already been decided for you.
Yes, action is needed,
But the Qur’an and scriptures indicate that the pious ones didn’t exhaust themselves,
Maryam (as) shook a tree and she received food whilst in pain,
Ayyub (as) made a gentle tap to carry out a promise,
And there would definitely be way more than that,
But these things just show,
These pious ones didn’t give their hearts and souls to the dunya,
They didn’t over-exhaust themselves,
To attain something that might not even be destined for them.
They attached their hearts and souls to Allah,
And made complete and absolute d’ua to Him first,
Then took some form of action,
Not like what I’ve been doing,
By overexhausting myself within the means,
And then falling again and again,
Then letting the dunya break me,
And make me feel despondent and hopeless,
And then turn to Allah,
When I should have turned to Him first,
Rather than turn to all those around me.
That’s the problem with asking for help,
It can become so easy to be dependent on them,
When one should be dependent on Allah.
All these lessons I’m learning
But better late than never.