You did so much for me,
And yes, I took advantage of it.
You were my safety net,
The protector I could hide behind,
And then that was gone.
I felt empty, alone, lost.
But I’m coming to see and realise,
That it was what is best for me.
I’m turning back to Allah.
I’m realising there was/is shirk in my heart,
So I need to work on rectifying my iman.
I’m facing upto my flaws,
And trying to make plans for the future.
I totally depended on you for my rizq,
And that was totally uncool.
I just didn’t have the insight then,
I only realised this way later afterwards.
Eventhough I thought your methods was cruel,
I’m learning that sabr is about accepting that it was all due to Allah.
He willed things to occur that way and so that couldn’t be changed.
I’m sad of course that one friendship ended,
But I do still hope that perhaps another, much stronger one can be forged later on,
I’m realising how emotionally needy I am.
How longing of approval I am.
But it does not matter what the world thinks,
As long as I am true to my soul,
And the fitrah that Allah instilled within.