We give so much significance and weight to things that are barely important.
So what if I fail? I’ll still be a Muslimah on the path to attaining Allah’s pleasure.
The deen should have greater weight than everything else.
But I attached my heart to the world, my intellect, qualifications, dreams, people.
Now when I could be faced with the prospect of losing any of these, I crumble.
My heart can’t bear the thought of separation,
So now I know that this is an unhealthy attachment,
And I must embark upon the path to rid myself,
Of love, fear, dread, awe and so much more for none other than Allah.
So world, I must step away from you for now,
And focus on reaching my Creator,
I came from Him and I’m going back to Him.
I’ve been separated from Him for far too long,
I loved and I lost and it hurt and I crumbled.
I could not bear the thought of just being alone again,
Facing the world by myself.
She was my side-kick,
A true, honourable and loyal friend,
But Allah decided it was time,
To split us apart.
I was angry at how it came about,
But I’m starting to see the benefits.
Yes, I’m scared of this life on the other side,
And I’m jealous of all the people who have so much more than me,
Who look tough and resilient on the outside, when I’m just weak,
I want to face upto it.
I’ve been pursuing all the wrong things,
Things that numb the pain,
Let me hide from it,
But no, this is the truth,
This is the reality.
Life is hard, painful, a test,
And we must find ways of overcoming the things that take us away from our Lord.
Nothing was meant to come between us and the Creator.
Everything was supposed to be for His sake alone.
But we allowed things to interfere in our relationship with Him,
Enough is enough,
And I pray He accepts me back to Him.