A Poem On The Pain I Grew Up With

You brought me so much pain,

Growing up – I wasn’t allowed to do so much.

I remember staring out the window,

Watching the other kids play,

And wanting to join them,

But you were too frightened of setting me free.

I had to dress the way you wanted,

Or else you screamed the whole house down.

I’ve grown into a fragile being,

Who tiptoes around all the time,

And does everything you want me to,

Simply because I’m afraid,

Of what you’ll do if I don’t.

Your approval is all I wanted,

But I never got it.

So now I’ve given up,

And I want to forge my own path,

Assert my own independence,

Move on and be set free,

Be an adult who can make my own decisions,

Marry someone of my own choosing,

Because I have the right to,

God gave me that right.

He told me to honour you too,

But enough is enough,

I’m a human being with needs, wants and cravings,

And I long for things you don’t agree with.

I’m going to stand back from you,

But I will still love you,

And care for you,

But I need you to work on yourself now,

Because I won’t always be around.

I want to climb mountains,

Run through the fields,

With the wind flying through my hijaab.

I’m a soul with a purpose,

And I refuse to be confined to your walls now,

And I refuse to be restricted.

Leave me alone now,

And go and work on yourself.

Forge an identity,

That isn’t tied to other human beings.

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