Just how I am

The chest pains that I would get when trying to study were just too immense today.

I had to stop and start so many times. I would get some relief but then it would come back and it would just be too intense.

I then played some Qur’an. I then came to the realisation that it is probably due to me listening to music that means I am affected by wiswas.

I am glad this has happened because it has given me the intention to turn away from music again.

Also, I think I need some deep counselling for the sake of Allah. I want to make peace with the past and accept myself.

I want to be able to separate out my issues from the people around me. I want to be able to connect with others and form strong bonds and connections.

All good is from Allah and in the past I think I have turned to people expecting too much from them, expecting to be magically healed. But I think I’ve come to accept that this is just how I am.

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