Oh Lord, how I have neglected you,
I chose sin over goodness and loyalty.
I gave into my weaknesses,
Time and time again,
When I feel low and need cheering.
I can slip up all the time,
But then I feel guilty,
And it adds more pain to the bag.
I don’t like the person that I am,
There is too much that has happened in my life that I can’t make sense of.
Shaytan makes me focus on what I don’t have,
When instead, God has given me so much.
I’m on the road to recovery, happiness.
I have new friendships.
I might not like what happened to me,
But it was from Allah.
All the believers behave towards me,
Exactly how Allah decreed for them.
I will be patient,
And fully trust Allah that He knows what is happening.
This was how it was supposed to be.
The dunya was supposed to hurt me,
Turn me down on my knees.
It is hard.
But how we make it harder,
By judging ourselves,
And treating ourselves like a punching bag.
Oh things will be better inshaAllah.
We will rise out of this inshaAllah.