I wish life was different. I sit here wondering what to do as I just allow life to sweep me away. I continue to get things done with a minimal level of exertion, not really doing the things I feel passionate about, just doing what they want me to do. It’s so frustrating to be here sometimes. I know I’m not alone and I know it’s going to be tough but inshaAllah we will get through this. I am looking forward to that feeling of it being over, but at the same time I know that once this phase is over, something more difficult will begin.
I hate the system and I just want to complain about it. I know complaining doesn’t change things but it makes me feel better to know that certain deficiencies or my inability to keep up with things isn’t necessarily my fault. I’m just part of a stupid system that I can’t change.
However, I accept I need to comply with it in order to get what I want and achieve my end goal.
I’m making so many sacrifices and I feel so unhappy about the people I have lost and the fact that I compromise every day on my faith (the most important thing of all).
Oh Lord, please help me and save me