A Poem on My Current Feelings

I just feel like an absolute fool,

What was the point of even trying-

But I had nothing to lose.

I acted upon advice

Thought I was being proactive,

But it’s just seen as being reactive.

I did what I was told,

I followed like sheep,

But really the outcome seemed,

Not quite what I wanted it to be.

Did I take it too personally,

Or should I have waited?

I don’t know maybe i’m too brash,

I was trying to be different-

What the hell did he mean?

Ok, i can’t dig too deep,

It’ll hurt me to analyse.

It’ll just be like last time,

As my mind doesn’t quite know what it wants to know.

Only God is in charge,

And He knows what resides within human hearts.

I am pushing myself-

Gotta be positive,

It’s about striking a balance,

That’s what he said.

You can’t guess peoples’ intentions-

Just take it at face value.

Humans can be heartless,

Words can have a hundred different meanings and intonations.

That’s why conflict and discord occurs,

Misunderstandings happen as people don’t always concur

But hey, this is for learning,

And one day I can be better at negotiating,

If only I can try.

I’m not naturally assertive,

But maybe it has to be.

This is the world we live in,

And in order to make changes to lives,

I have to coexist peacefully and join with others to some degree.

As frustrating as it is,

It’s for the greater good,

And God will change things,

So this is how it has to be.

But let’s get one thing straight,

I gotta put my Lord first,

Cos if I lose that then I’ve just lost it all.

There’d be no point having anything else,

It’ll just all be a waste,

Absolutely, i have to agree.

I’ll just regret not doing all I needed to,

So this is a chance,

To be something more,

To make a stance,

And be bold for all.

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