I sat around my family, the people who I love and adore and I just felt sad. Sometimes I just think, what is the point of all this? I feel really bored.
I always struggle with free time because that’s when I start to think negatively or ruminate.
I feel distant from Allah so I know I want to navigate my life back to Him. I want to seek more of His help and guidance. I want more khushu (concentration) in my salah (prayers). I really should be reciting my adhkar every day as that helps to protect me from evil.
I have definitely improved as the last two days, I have been reciting my adhkar and recited the Qur’an so that is definitely a start.
I have just emerged from a very low period in my life and looking into the past, I know that Allah granted me good things after hardship. He granted me nice things such as nice people, nice gifts, a nice environment, general happiness.
I think I mistakenly search for happiness or want my life to be happy when it is actually normal and ok to have bad days or disagreements with people, or be made to feel rubbish by other human beings. These are normal human experiences. They suck, but everyone goes through it and everything in this dunya is temporary.
We’re required to have sabr. Sabr is translated as patience which can sometimes come across as being passive. Maybe I need to remind myself of sabr again and what it means inshaAllah.