What happens when every self help post you read tells you to let go of the things/people that cause you pain? What happens though when you don’t want to let go as you care and love those things so much and you value those connections?
It poses quite a dilemma so there is no straight cut answer to this. You can’t choose one or the other. Perhaps this is just one of those scenarios where my actions are just futile and I should not actively try to do anything and just make dua that Allah allows things to be better. Life is always changing and I can’t/shouldn’t rely on others to help me with life.
Allah will grant me what is good for me whenever I deserve it. I need to continue making d’ua though for all the things I would like. No human being has the power to open up a pathway that only Allah can open up. I should trust Allah in this instance.
I should try my upmost best to treat people in a manner that is well and good, in a sunnah way and in a way that would be most pleasing to Allah. We are one body and one ummah and this current trial of mine is challenging me to put away any personal disputes and instead just try to be a Muslim to another Muslim. I should consider all other Muslims as my allies for the sake of Allah. They may have flaws and they may have acted towards me in ways that were contrary to an islamic model, however we are all human and imperfect and I forgive those errors and understand the basis for how those errors were made. On a positive note, I feel I have/am making progress because with time, I do forget the things that happened and am just able to get on with life and immerse myself into the activities of life. Medicine keeps me busy, active and interested, I am happy to say, Alhamdulillah 🙂
There will be moments where my mind will drift back to the past or I will think of my friend. I will wonder what is happening in her life and how she is. But I need to trust that Allah is taking care of her and Allah will keep her in my life for as long as He thinks it good.
My friend has responded in a positive way at times recently. Of course, she seems distraught in many ways and looks quite low and disinterested. But sometimes I see her laughing and looking happy too. There have been instances where she did with me in the past week which was nice. I need to keep on praying for a good outcome inshaAllah.