I just feel a bit rubbish today. It could be for a whole host of reasons – for the sins I have committed, for not completing the activities I made the intention to complete and much more.
I just feel low and flat. I couldn’t be bothered to do anything productive today. I did send a few important emails in the morning, I showered and did a bit of reading but I didn’t join the gym like I had planned to or complete the notes that I wanted to do.
Instead I slept a lot and then watched some shows and movies. On the whole I feel lazy and like a bit of a failure. Don’t know whether I should just embrace it or fight against it. I feel low in energy and in mood. I don’t have the drive or the motivation to do anything that requires exertion of my energy.
This is the complete opposite of how I felt yesterday. I felt happier and more energetic yesterday as I regarded it as a productive day Alhamdulillah. I did some work, went to the library, did some shopping and some cooking. I felt a sense of achievement and victory.
I also haven’t been great with my prayers lately and haven’t been reading the Qur’an daily like I used to do.
So there are a few different reasons which can explain why I’m in a partial zombie-like state today. I can’t change my past but I can acknowledge my previous actions/behaviours, the consequences of it and make the intention to do things differently next time inshaAllah.
Of course, I need to keep on repenting for my sins and ask Allah to help me and make me stronger when it comes to controlling my nafs. It’s a hard path in life when you are surrounded by so much temptation and it is just so hard to resist. It makes me feel like getting rid of my phone so I can try to have some peace. Don’t know if that will happen though.
I need to keep on making d’ua for goodness, strength and positivity in my life and the lives of the believers. There is a lot of unhappiness that resides in our world and in our hearts but there are ways we can alleviate this and we should try to embrace the beauty of islam to resolve all matters inshaAllah.
I hope Allah grants everyone peace and serenity within their lives x