Sometimes I wish life was a little bit different. Throughout my life I have prayed for things and not received those things which would make me sad at the time, but later on I might have realised why it would not have been good for me to have those things – i.e. a certain guy I liked and something between us never coming into being. There were other dreams that Allah brought me close to but didn’t work out, like when having the opportunity to graduate or coming close to final year, but then having to repeat fourth year again.
We just need to trust that everything is for the best. There is great goodness in our lives but sometimes we choose to zoom in on and magnify what we don’t like. It sucks.
Today I attempted to perform a great number of tasks on the ward – some I succeeded with, others not so much, but hey, at least I tried. I got to meet some nice nurses and HCAs as well who were friendly. There are many nice people in the world – people who will smile at you, offer you cakes, open doors for you – nice gestures like that and I need to remember that.
I need to remember that to counteract the bad things and the grim faces and the dismissiveness and sorrow, there are so many others who are willing to extend courtesy, respect and politeness – people who make you feel valued and special. It’s sad when a person just changes and there is little explanation for why it is happening. It is unacceptable to be that way towards another Muslim in my opinion, but perhaps some just can’t really help it. Sometimes I feel that this isn’t even Muslim kinship anymore. I’m just being zoned out and ignored. When there is teamwork and a chance to share out the activity, I feel discarded and like I’m not even present, when that is the opposite of how I behave towards them. Maybe they just like being alone and doing things by themselves.
These are new challenges I have not faced before. But when you conquer and overcome certain hardships, you develop new skills and strengths. You become braver and more confident as you realise that you have the resilience to deal with the things that come at you – Allah has given us the coping mechanisms and He won’t challenge us with more than we can bear. He says so in the Quran.
I’m just developing newer coping skills and I hope these will put me in a better position to deal with lifes’ future challenges inshaAllah.