It’s sad when you have feelings for someone but have an awareness that it’s likely to not go anywhere for various reasons i.e. you know deep down that as lovely as the person is you are incompatible in many ways, or that they are of a different religion/ethnicity/school of thought to you which might make life difficult for you or might mean you would have to compromise on some of the values that you hold dear in order to be with this person.
Sometimes there might be things in life that your nafs really wants but your rational mind is forced to take over and convince you that it isn’t right or it wouldn’t work in the long run. It can lead to a bit of a battle between what your emotions want and what your brain/thoughts want. I’m sure that would be hard.
In these situations, one part of you would need to compromise – i.e. you might have to compromise on what your emotions would want you to do in order to keep the logical/moral part of your brain happy. This would probably lead to grief and sadness as you are not really in control and can’t have what you would like to have.
If one has chosen their values/morals over their emotions, then that is the functioning of a highly developed individual who can prioritize what is more important to them. However, despite choosing their beliefs, they would probably be left with some sad and complicated feelings to deal with. You can’t please everyone/everything in life but you can choose who/what to please perhaps?
What is worth more to you? That is the questions that one has to ask themselves. What can they do without and what can’t they do without? What will please Allah more? What is a more jannah-worthy option to take?
We all want happiness but sometimes as Muslims we might need to sacrifice the present day happiness in order to receive the eternal happiness of jannah.
And that is more than worth the sacrifice. In fact, jannah will be so good that its’ inhabitants would be willing to face all the pain that they did on earth, in order to have the beauty all over again. This is what lies in store for us if we make the right choices and pick what is everlasting over what is temporary.
May Allah grant all the Muslims amazing spouses who they can be happy with and who can bring out the best of them inshaAllah.
“Indeed, Allah has purchased from the believers their lives and their properties [in exchange] for that they will have Paradise. They fight in the cause of Allah, so they kill and are killed. [It is] a true promise [binding] upon Him in the Torah and the Gospel and the Qur’an. And who is truer to his covenant than Allah? So rejoice in your transaction which you have contracted. And it is that which is the great attainment.”
[Quran, 9: 111]