I had my last counselling session today and it was good Alhamdulillah as I talked about what happened with my friend over the last couple of weeks and I got an outsider’s perspective on it. We both agreed that there were some things that were a little confusing but my counsellor praised me on the fact that I was brave enough to tell my friend what I thought but still have the maturity to approach it in a non-confrontational way.
She thinks it enabled me to have more control of the situation and yes, it did. I am in a much different place to the one that I was in a few months ago where things were bleak and dark. I’ve learnt a lot through this experience.
It made me wonder if I overshare with my friends and whether I have a problematic personality, but the truth is, friends are there to listen to your problems and if they cared for you then they would enquire. Of course, I have learnt that I shouldn’t overburden one person at any one time with my issues and I hope not to do that again inshaAllah.
There are uncertainties about what my friend is feeling and what her thoughts on the matter is, but my counsellor said that that is probably her way of coping with things and her way is different to mine. She becomes closed off and withdrawn whereas I like to talk about things and resolve things. Maybe that is an issue for her to deal with in the long term.
I did think to myself, am I too confrontational? But my counsellor thought I wasn’t, as confrontational to her means wanting to start an argument or not being willing to listen or cooperate. It was reassuring to hear that she thought I did well and she praised me on it.
Near the end of the appointment it was clear that I probably didn’t need to come again as there was closure for me and I just wanted to move on.
I still care for this friend and highly admire her and of course I will try my best to continue being nice to her as I have always tried to do. However she decides to treat me is upto her and is between her and Allah. I will try not to compromise on my values or change my behaviour to make it in line with hers.
So Alhamdulillah for that 😀