I feel sad today, as I did yesterday. I tend to feel sad when I come back to my family home. I don’t know what or why it is.
Maybe it is the clutter in my bedroom which I feel is weighing me down, that I really feel the urge to get rid of, to create a blank slate and to start afresh. Maybe it is the fact that I am surrounded by people who are quite stressy and that adds to the vibe. Or it could be even that I revert back to a lazy version of myself when I am in my family home.
I don’t know what it is but what I do know is that I don’t like it. I don’t want to be or want to feel this way. It is a hot, summery day today. My room is a mess but that isn’t my fault as it is my sisters’ mess. I also have a few chores I could be getting on with.
However, I just can’t be bothered. Some days I just feel like lying in bed and doing nothing, not facing upto life or do anything. It just feels easier that way. I don’t feel motivated during those times and prefer to just rest by myself and think about life. Of course, it is unproductive and draining as well, which reminds me that I need to start going to the gym again. At least in that way, I could release my frustration in some sort of physical way on the treadmill or on the weights machines.
But here I am today, faced with the first challenge of my day – to shower and then to do some chores, which I actually hate.
May Allah make it easy.