Wanting To Do More

I just feel like I don’t want to do anything. I’m lacking in motivation, I don’t want to move and I’d much rather just sit in one place and not be very active.

This is all quite sad and worrying because it is the blessed month of Ramadan where I should be utilising my time in the best possible manner to earn as much reward as I can, to make endless duas and to seek forgiveness. I really don’t feel I have done enough. But I do have two weeks left to go inshaAllah so I still have the chance to turn things around.

I feel like I struggle to focus or make the best decisions when I’m pulled in different directions. I have the demands of being a medical student, but I also want to be a good Muslim too inshaAllah. Maybe the problem is that I see them as two separate things and need to unite them under one umbrella. They will both help me to become a better person inshaAllah. Yes, medicine can be frustrating as it is long-winded and seems like a never-ending process. We need to have other interests and distractions. I think I’m just being a little too lazy as well and stuck in my mind a bit. I should definitely get up and do some more physical/active things.

I can do the following today:

  1. Wash some clothes
  2. Write out my timetable for my next placement so I’m clear about what I’m doing
  3. Finish off some of my psychiatry notes
  4. Read some Qur’an

I’ve also invited a friend over later on inshaAllah. I haven’t seen her in a while so looking forward to seeing her inshaAllah.

I want to be productive but sometimes I just feel stuck and drained of my energy and willpower. It isn’t the best way to live. 

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