Recently I have found myself to feel less motivated to study. I’m not sure if this is due to my tiredness, due to the fact that I don’t find learning as intellectually stimulating (since i’m repeating the year so I’m covering the same material again) or because I am losing my interest for Medicine and being a doctor in general.
It is true that I feel incredibly tired during the day and this probably plays a part in reducing my desire for activity. I have found myself sleeping a great deal too during the day. My appetite at the moment is very small as well. I wonder if the extent of my emotional troubles is robbing me of my physical energy.
As for the possibility that I am losing my motivation to be a doctor in general, that could be due to my tiredness as well which is clouding my outlook on life. I would say that I still love the idea of making a difference to the lives of people and I enjoy taking histories and trying to work out what is wrong with the patient. But I don’t like the system we are working within. Hospital staff seem to be very stretched at the moment. I don’t like the fact that there are so many other dimensions to working as a doctor that has been highlighted to me, such as the cooperation that must exist between all members of the multidisciplinary team and it worries me that there are so many other factors involved in patient care that it is far too easy in our system for mistakes to occur and when those mistakes occur then it can lead to stressful consequences for doctors such as the prospect of litigation.
The thought of having cases brought against me concerns me at the moment. I know this is quite far ahead in the future but it just worries me that something like that could happen to me.
If it is something that continues to be a concern, I guess I should probably ask for help and more information about it inshaAllah.