Peace after Nervousness

I had to present a psychiatric history to a consultant today. I was slightly nervous about it – felt a little bit sick in the morning and my chest felt this pressure on it. This would be my second attempt at presenting a history as he did not think my first one was acceptable.

I felt really deflated and horrible at the time. There was another student there as well, so I felt like someone else had to witness some of it too. It felt a little bit humiliating.

However, after delivering a more satisfactory presentation today, I am feeling better about myself.

The truth is, sometimes in life we will get things wrong and it is ok for people to correct us. It is better that we are corrected earlier on so that we can fix things for later inshaAllah. Different people have different ways of delivering feedback as well. Some can be harsher than others.

I spoke to another nurse about my feelings and I could tell she understood where I was coming from. Sometimes expressing your feelings to others who feel the same way sort of validates your emotions and makes you feel like it is ok, that consultant is super critical of everyone.

It makes me reflect on the type of leader I would like to be if I was ever in that position inshaAllah. I wouldn’t want my colleagues to feel rubbish around me. I feel like they should be praised and rewarded when they do something good, and of course be corrected when something could be done better inshaAllah.

This psychiatrist seems like a good psychiatrist. He knew his stuff very well and he seemed good at managing his patients. He just wasn’t the friendliest and warmest guy in the world.

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