I met up with a group of students today and we went out for a meal. It was really nice Alhamdulillah. I felt totally absorbed in the moment and my worries or negative thoughts weren’t there. There was lots of laughter and banter and I truly loved it.
I still know how to have a good time, Alhamdulillah.
The friend of mine I broke up with came too. I find that there’s a coldness in the atmosphere when we are just by ourselves. I feel like there is emptiness and it can be difficult. I felt like we had lots to talk about before but now there isn’t really much to say. Ever since she stepped away from my life, I felt obliged to step away too and now it’s confusing about where the boundaries are. I feel a little frustrated sometimes when she doesn’t express herself around me. I know that she can and she will around certain people, but what silences her around me. I can’t say it’s like that all the time. We do find things to talk about sometimes, like work or funny/interesting patients on the ward. We can talk briefly about what we do or are going to do on the weekend, but our lives are just not so intertwined any more.
That’s just the way things are. I am happy with myself today and I am thankful to Allah that he blessed me with what He has today. I overcame the fear of presenting my case to the consultant and was able to enjoy a meal with some new people I had not been out with before. It was a good day. There were moments where I felt anxious and I think I’m going to have to tackle that with exercise and getting my medication up to scratch inshaAllah.
And it’s the weekend so I can enjoy myself for two days inshaAllah!