I felt quite low this evening. I had spent the day meeting and talking to patients on the mental health inpatient unit and one patient in particular had some extremely unpleasant experiences when younger.
Both myself and my colleague felt that these troubled past experiences explained why a patient was so ill right now. It must be horrible to have to live with trauma so severe that it shapes your entire life and future, so that you can’t get it out of your mind and it affects your self esteem and prevents you from living a normal life.
I’m not immune to the effects of mental health, as I have/do suffer from depression and anxiety. I have depressive tendencies and I get overwhelmed very easily. The other day someone asked me why I feel this way and what set me off, because I performed so well at school. I thought to myself, perhaps it is because when I came to university I had to think about so much more beyond my education. I struggled with a few emotional issues as well.
I want to be able to move beyond that and be way tougher than I currently am. Medicine challenges me emotionally as well as intellectually. I pray that Allah makes everything easier and that this is just a phase.