Today I was given my timetable for the next 6 and a half weeks. It will require some planning to ensure I do everything that needs to be done. I suddenly just feel so overwhelmed as a result of it, eventhough there’s probably not a lot that NEEDS to be done. I’m just ambitious and I set myself challenging aims regarding what I’d like to have fulfilled with my time.
I also feel low sometimes when I see what the people around me have. Currently I am feeling a little envious and resentful of people who have cars. I walk around a lot and use public transport. Sometimes this can involve a bit of waiting and it takes up time. However, on the plus side it means I can read and do useful things when I am travelling which drivers can’t. And the most important reason why I don’t want to drive is due to having to pay insurance, which is haraam though most people just do it.
The evidence for this is the following:
The reason why paying insurance involves uncertainty is because you are paying a fixed amount, though you do not know when and if you will receive something back from the insurance company. There is no service or product being bought.
I want to look forward to Paradise inshaAllah. A place where the believers will be able to fly (forget driving). So I should stick to my guns and not be swayed by the people around me whom shaytan is making me think their life is better than mine.
I feel that shaytan really tries to get me down by whispering negative and damaging suggestions to my mind. He wants to disunite the believers and cause chaos and turmoil between them. I WILL not let him win inshaAllah. Things WILL improve and get better. Things aren’t the same in my life, that is true, but that is how we grow – through change we involve into better formed human beings. Things might be difficult at the start but inshaAllah these are all steps the believer has to take towards jannah.