Wanting to forgive and Let go

I want to forgive my friend and I want to let go, but I’m not sure how to go about it. There were a few painful words she mentioned in her last message to me:

  • “Projection”
  • “Vicarious”
  • “There’s only so much a person can take”
  • “I’m taking a step back”

I thought it was horrible to tell me that I was doing all those things to her in one go. Why couldn’t she have expressed it before as she went along?

It makes me angry to think about. These emotions are too painful. I want to bury them deep, but also I know that I’m struggling to run from them. Today there were too many triggers that bought back painful and difficult thoughts into my mind.

Perhaps I need to think to myself that she was just a human being and she was struggling to cope with me. She is entitled to make mistakes herself. She isn’t perfect! Sometimes I expect people to be good all the time and am disappointed when they are not. 

I need to accept that she does have many great qualities like many other great people do, but she has flaws too, like everyone, even the best of humankind.

Yes, her actions may seem inconsistent with her spoken words but that’s what people are like. They don’t always have a great degree of insight into how they come across. They just are themselves – their actions making sense to themselves  but not worrying too much about what others think.

I would like a better life inshaAllah and I pray that Allah sorts everything.

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