A Poem on Dealing with Anger and Vicious Characters

I felt so much pain today,

At the thought of dealing with an angry patient.

Why did it have to be me,

Who takes the beating to my soul?

It isn’t my fault,

That the patient or their relatives feel let down,

And I find it unfair that things should be pinned down on me.

I feel like the patient’s rights are far greater than my own rights.

What about my own dignity, my own feelings, my own health?

When the patient in front of me becomes abusive and mean,

So I’m just supposed to take it am I?

Take the wounds,

As if I’m a child taking a beating from a strict parent?

I’ve had enough of a profession that doesn’t honour us, respect us, stand up for us, or look after us.

I hate being in this very world,

Where everyone is so mean to each other,

Where the system sets us up against each other,

And where there are so called winners and so called losers.

But what if I said this, fellow human,

That the winners in this life will be the losers in the afterlife,

And the losers in this life will be well-dignified in the next.

Will that make you feel better?

To know that the degredation and humiliation will one day end?

And the entire world will feel regret at all that its’ done.

And wish that they behaved differently.

I hope that day will be good for us,

I don’t know what to do,

But just pray that one day Allah will set me free,

From a world that caged me up and tried to control my thoughts and dreams,

That ordered me to obey other humans and systems,

That were far removed from what God taught me.

This world is a pain…

But it was meant to be I think.

And it teaches us to be better people,

So that when that day comes,

We’ll have nur on our faces,

And we’ll feel ecstasy,

That we did all that we could,

And never gave up.


A Poem on Selling Our Souls to the Profession

My dear sister,

Why do you sell your soul,

To a profession that doesn’t honour you.

Yes, I know one’s career is important,

I can completely empathise,

I feel that way too,

But how about if I told you,

That this profession makes our lives so difficult,

It doesn’t protect us, honour us, or give us the rights we deserve.

In fact, it strips us of our dignity,

Something I didn’t know would be the case before I entered.

Yes I know you don’t like to hear this complaining,

I know it is grim to hear truths that can’t easily be rectified,

But unless we know the truth,

We won’t know what we’re dealing with,

And it’s almost like we’re going in blind,

And that means we can fall prey to the system,

And it’s too easy for the system to let us down,

To pin us down as a horrible human being,

Just because the system was too inefficient to create change,

And create safe working conditions,

I feel so much pain when I see the world in this way.

It hurts me that I made all these sacrifices,

To learn the skills needed to save lives,

Never realising how strict the profession was,

And how low they would make me feel,

How they would set us up against each other,

When teamwork is at the very core of what we do.

I don’t feel that the relevant conditions that are cohesive to teamwork have been created,

And it makes me sad to see the profession in this light,

But I want to shine an honest light on my experiences,

And what I’ve witnessed around me,

And I don’t want to weaken like I did before.

I want to embrace my flaws,

Learn more about myself,

And embrace my strengths too,

For if we know those,

Then we can steer ourselves to what is good for us,

And steer ourselves away from what is bad for us.

A Poem on Not Relying On People

I’m completely baffled,

At who is my friend and who is not,

People will screw you over when the going gets tough,

And it feels like in the medical profession,

Everyone just seems to be competing against each other,

Well, the ones who care about their profession do,

But the believers are ones who believe that true rizq comes from Allah,

So it isn’t possible for other people to take away from you what wasn’t destined for you in the first place,

And that all believers will have all that was destined for them,

Nothing more, nothing less,

So why worry about and compromise on one’s morals and values,

For something that has already been decided for you.

Yes, action is needed,

But the Qur’an and scriptures indicate that the pious ones didn’t exhaust themselves,

Maryam (as) shook a tree and she received food whilst in pain,

Ayyub (as) made a gentle tap to carry out a promise,

And there would definitely be way more than that,

But these things just show,

These pious ones didn’t give their hearts and souls to the dunya,

They didn’t over-exhaust themselves,

To attain something that might not even be destined for them.

They attached their hearts and souls to Allah,

And made complete and absolute d’ua to Him first,

Then took some form of action,

Not like what I’ve been doing,

By overexhausting myself within the means,

And then falling again and again,

Then letting the dunya break me,

And make me feel despondent and hopeless,

And then turn to Allah,

When I should have turned to Him first,

Rather than turn to all those around me.

That’s the problem with asking for help,

It can become so easy to be dependent on them,

When one should be dependent on Allah.

All these lessons I’m learning


But better late than never.

A Poem on Following Your Heart

Oh my dear brothers and sisters,

I struggle to establish whether you are brothers and sisters.

Your actions disappoint me,

And it seems that the dunya has taken precedence over what follows.

You join forces with people who are against the very fundamentals of what Allah sent us down with,

You fall for their lies and are easily deceived by their smiles and kind words.

Don’t you see that the actions of these people defy everything that we stand for?

And yet you still hope for change to be brought about through them.

Why does it hurt you so much to be reminded of the day of judgement?

Why do you show so much emnity towards those who are in the same camp as you?

Where does your allegiance really lie?

Please look inside your heart and really examine it,

Try to rid it of all the impurities that lie within,

Allow your heart to direct you to what Allah is pleased with,

And allow it to direct you away from what Allah hates.

We were born upon the fitrah,

So we all have the ability to turn ourselves to the truth,

But only the best of us will do so,

And the rest of us will give our souls to the dunya,

Cling to it and try to please all that we shouldn’t need to please,

But unfortunately that will drag us into a hole,

And we’ll only have ourselves to blame.

We’ll turn to all those we followed, obeyed and looked upto,

But will be faced with a blank wall,

They’ll tell us that we shouldn’t have followed them,

And it was our fault that we did.

We’ll find ourselves being alone on that day,

And no-one will be able to save us from the wrath of God.

However, if we are a believer,

And strive to emulate the truth,

Then we may find ourselves having many loyal allies,

Such as the prophets and the ambiyaa,

And that would be a huge blessing,

And we’ll feel absolute joy if we were granted that.

So oh dear brothers and sisters,

Be careful who you follow,

For the ones you think have your back,

Might probably drag you into a fierce end.

A Poem on All That Was Once Dear

And it worries me when I think about those who I have loved all my life,

Those who are tender and dear to me,

Become smaller and smaller in their worth in my eyes.

And I can’t decide whether it is from shaytan that I choose to distance myself,

Or whether it is for the sake of Allah.

I should feel sad that I have lost or am starting to lose the things I once held dear,

But really, I think I feel relieved and liberated,

That my eyes are starting to see the world again for what it is,

And that is a temporary dwelling where the true believer will face many difficulties,

And will find their faith being tested in many extreme ways,

But how else will they prove that they are loyal to their faith,

And that they would choose their faith above all else?

I went through this process before,

And I thought I was on top of the world and invincible,

But then I lost what I held was dear,

Allah took it away from me,

And I grieved and I grieved.

There was deep, crushing, emotional pain,

A sadness and wallowing in the betrayal and loss,

I was all-consumed in the bitterness,

But then I slowly started to realise it was for the best.

There were and still are so many diseases in my heart,

Things like pride, jealousy, arrogance, love of things more than Allah,

And the worst of all is shirk,

I suspect that I love and fear things more than Allah,

Which explains why I prioritise all these other things over my five daily appointments with my Lord.

And so I must work towards rectifying them,

For I do not want to die in this state,

For if I do, the destination might be hell,

And that would mean that all I worked for would be futile,

And would disappear into nothingness.

And I would mourn like never before,

And feel deep, intoxicating regret,

For striving so hard and pushing myself to exhaustion,

For the sake of this lowly world.

And I don’t want to do that anymore.

I want to prioritise greater and better things.

And some of what I do now may still remain,

But my intention needs to change,

So it is all for the sake of Allah,

As it probably currently isn’t.

But I hope I can work to rectify that inshaAllah.

A Poem on Being an Outcast

I was in a group,

I felt like an outsider,

It seemed that everyone else was so smart,

Knew all the answers,

And here was me – on the edge.

There are some personalities in my group,

Who I’d much rather avoid,

They seem rude and cold,

Not very well-mannered,

And not very kind.

I hate those dominant types,

The ones that everyone else tries so hard to please,

Because if the ringleader decides to oust you,

Then everyone else will,

And social rejection hurts.

We sometimes feel we need to be a part of a pack, a clan or a tribe.

Eventhough modern life in the most industrialized cities has moved away from that,

Where people live more independent lives,

Where people aren’t so much part of a community,

It still seems in the workplace,

That there is safety in numbers.

People crave acceptance,

And to be an outcast,

Is to live a very difficult life,

Where no-one likes you,

And no-one wants you.

I feel like that outcast right now,

Like I don’t belong anywhere,

Not amongst my family,

Not amongst my so-called ‘friends’,

Who I wasn’t a priority to,

Eventhough I loved them so much.

But maybe all these experiences are good for me,

As it’s making me turn to Allah.

Eventhough my faith is weak,

I know that God needs to accept me,

In order for me to be saved.

But it’s not good enough to just know,

As I need to act upon it too,

And then purify my faith and my heart,

So that it isn’t tainted by anything that will win Allah’s despair,

Like the polytheism of love, fear and submission.

It must be all reserved for my Lord.

As believing then not acting,

Is like being in denial,

And that is what kufr is,

And I’d much rather that didn’t lie inside my heart.

Some thoughts on Tawheed

I feel bad about my actions,

About breaking the rules,

When I’ve always wanted to do things the correct way and by the rule book.

It frustrates me that I’m part of a system,

That strips me away of my dignity and my rights.

It’s as if my human worth correlates with how much work I am prepared to do,

And it’s almost as if I am worthless unless I can serve all these people in the manner that they want me to.

When really, my self-worth should come from Allah,

He has given me rights, dignity, status.

These are the very things that all humans need,

To live a meaningful life.

Most search for it in people or bodies that are imperfect,

That could never treat a human being with absolute kindness, dignity, compassion and justice,

For the only One who is capable of being absolutely merciful, compassionate and just,

Is Allah.

It’s interesting how I’ve observed people being so fearful of the consequences of breaking the rules,

Give their total obedience to other human beings,

Submit to and love other human beings.

When fear, obedience and submission are acts of worship which are solely reserved for Allah.

I realise to myself,

When I am fearful of the judgement of other human beings,

Fearful of the consequences of what other humans may say or do,

Or feel scared about their judgements and reactions to me,

That I have allowed shirk to enter my heart,

Because I have given what should be completely and absolutely reserved for Allah,

To other human beings 😦

And that is very worrying,

Because if I reach Allah in this state,

Then I will enter the hellfire,

And that would be devastating.

So I must work towards rectifying my tawheed,

And making the most important thing in my life (my deen) my absolute priority.

Just a splurge of my thoughts

I’m just a human,

I constantly apologise for things I don’t even need to apologise for,

I just feel like I’m in the way a lot of the times,

And maybe this needs to change.

I present a nice outer image to the world,

Try to be nice to everyone and pretend everything is normal,

Whilst hiding the pain and the misery I feel inside.

I just feel so unhappy all the time.

I feel like no-one really understands me,

And the one friend who I felt did,

I lost her.

And now all the other things in my life seem so much more significant,

The pain and hurt of my father,

A man who has suffered so much,

Who lives in fear of a storm,

Of everything blowing up,

And I live in fright too.

It wasn’t the life I wanted,

I thought that life would be nicer,

I wanted to be special, successful, wanted,

But I don’t really feel like I am those things,

And that’s where the problem lies.

Since entering medical school,

You’re just a dot in the crowd.

Everyone else seems so much better than you,

You feel so inferior to them.

Do you try to fit in,

Or do you just sit back and go with the flow?

I’m not sure…

Life can be tricky,

People are mean.

There are thugs in my family,

And I fear that things will get worse,

But then I have to remind myself,

That nothing will happen,

That Allah hasn’t already decreed,

He has planned all the events,

And the way out of all adversity too.

It can be difficult to do this,

But we really need to trust Allah,

And make the most of the resources we have,

And accept that we’re here for a reason,

Allah won’t let us down.

We need to turn to Him,

And pray for a way out,

Better things,

A chance to live for His cause inshaAllah.

I don’t know who to trust these days,

Who is Muslim? And who is not?

And who do I try to connect with?

Just need to pray,

That Allah brings the best people into my life.

A Poem on What To Do


So much of what you said just didn’t seem quite right with me.

You are encouraging me to open up,

And said you would be honoured to be that person,

Yet you don’t/won’t open up to me?

What is getting in the way of that?

You said you were worried about me,

But then also said at the end you were meeting a friend who had just come to the country for a few days,

Which is cool – maybe this was quite important.

You spoke of and knew about tawaqqul,

Yet encouraged me to tell someone in my friends or family what i’m feeling,

Hmm – I think a better way would be to express it to Allah,

He can actually change the situation,

And He is the most important.

What if one doesn’t feel comfortable doing/saying that?

A poem on angry feelings

It can just all feel a bit too much at times,

Like I am containing all these thoughts inside my mind,

Thoughts I can’t handle,

Things I can’t do anything about!

And it frustrates me,

That people are allowed to commit injustices,

And walk away casually with no repercussions.

It’s unacceptable!

How dare they?!

I know as a believer that I should accept that Allah is the most just,

And I do,

But do I just leave it in Allah’s hands –

It’s too passive an approach,

To just let everything glide by,

When in fact – it really hasn’t,

It’s stuck to me,

And I’m stuck to it!

I feel I can’t let go of these thoughts,

There’s too much I can’t cope with right now,

It’s unacceptable,

Completely unacceptable!